men are complete total..idiots.

im without words.

im speechless about how amazingly horrible they can be.

its just.....so....wonderful

I love how..when i talk to one other boy, its a huge deal. Everyone needs to know what a slut i am.

But when he talks to DOZENS  of other girls it suddenly doesnt matter, and I should "mind my own business".

Right when I feel like im in control of my life..it gets snatched away from me, and I feel like some child with her hand caught in the cookie jar.

what the fuck have i done?

Boys are freggin ridiculous..

I'm so frustrated.

I feel old.....so old. Like this isnt me. This isnt how I should be feeling.

And I try to be mature about it..confront the situation. But no...suddenly hes not listening and is "busy". And I drop it.

I always drop it.

Everytime I do..I feel like a piece of my self respect just...slowly..floats away.

And once again, being in my skin is completey unsafe. Unclean.

Its 3am..fawaahhahaa. what should i write...?

Whats an average day for me like?...

If its a good day i wake up at 12. Force myself downstairs..to my computer. Play wow for a good 1hr. Sign on AIM. Play wow some more. By now im hungry probably..? I eat a muffin or maybe a cookie..watch some t.v. Play wow again for more hrs. By now its probably 6-8pm. I have dinner..watch tv. Play wow some more for like 1-2 hrs. Then i go to crunchyroll.com for updates on all my fave animes/dramas ! 8D ..Turn up some random asian tunes, check updates on fictionpress.com  on all my fave stories. Check fanfiction.net for all my updates. sorta waddle around...but i always go to bed before 4am, cause thats when my mom wakes up...and harasses me @_@.

MM..now that i wrote all that down..my life is pretty boring =/

it really irks me. ..when people have 0 respect for me. I dont come into a conversation already judging someone. I give everyone the equal amount of respect they deserve.

Then they show me 0 respect in the conversation. I get irritated, start to make snide remarks. and then im suddenly the one being rude? excuse me, take a hard look at the way you've been treating me..then maybe you'll see my attitude is a little on the LIGHT SIDE compared to what i should be saying.

They walk away..saying i have an attitude problem and such. Good lord. and suddenly im the horrible person? gah..i truely despise most people.

and then my parents ask me why i refuse social interaction at all costs?  its not worth the headache.

k so i was watching alot of Yaoi last night on this website...(Yaoi: Gay men anime characters getting it ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN)

So fun.

sooo soo soo fun.

<3 yaoi!

seriously yo!

After all that..i got really hungry..and also felt seriously asian.! So like i told my mom to make me this one japanese dish called Omuraisu !~!! (rice with egg with ketup)

she made it..and it was good as hell! also Dukboki..which is like a rice cake in spicy/sweet sauce. (korean dish) FREGGIN GOOD AS HELL BRO

I feel like this isnt my life. It cant be.

These people..arent really like this. They dont really feel this way.

Im so frustrated.

Ive fucked up so much.

And its all swirling down...

into this black hole.

And here I am.

At the center.

Alone at last.

But its the worst feeling, ive ever had.

He who is dead will not be mourned as much as he who is alive.

(I read it off of something)

I believe i can hate more then the average person.

(Translation to english:)

(Btw: if you know what lyrics those are from you get 1k+ cool pts.)

I was talking to an ex boyfriend of mine..and I asked him if I seemed hostile towards men.(and this question is from something private i wont put in here ) He said that I was pretty hostile towards him when we met..and it was hard getting to know me, cause i always seemed suspicous.....The women in my family have always been strong. But men have always been their downfall. And im only bringing this up..because i found out my sisters bf has been hitting her...Shes just about the strongest woman i know,And it scares me to think, shes letting him do this to her. My aunt used to get beaten by her husband, and my mother is degraded emotionaly by her own bf everyday...so fucking excuse me for my hostility towards the male gender. FUCKING EXCUSE ME.

I watched that show again, and cried like the wuss i am

Being honest with another person doesnt make them understand you

[Quote]: "Hurting someone is an inevitable part of life,and you try your hardest not to hurt anyone. At least..i think thats how it should be"

She kept her baby....and left her lover into the arms of another. SECURITY, she needs...security.